Letting go

Now just because you read the title of this rant does not mean that I’m about to burst out a song from frozen. Sad to say I have a more deeper point to make for those who are going through a hard time. So letting go tough isn’t it not as easy as it sounds is it?
So I’ve turned down my chance to move to a different country because I realised I didn’t want to do it I only really agreed because of my father he needed this chance a new life, a new start but me with my big mouth I let the cat out and now I nominate myself as the worst daughter in the world.
I have this heavy feeling that’s weighing me down but maybe I deserve it. Dad isn’t going now because I’m not but I KNOW how much he wanted it.
I know I have to live my life on my choice but I feel so guilty. I don’t want to be like every other girl I used to go to school with, they have kids and are living off of benefits I can’t do that. I need release, I need a life I can look back on and won’t regret it. I need a life where I make a difference. I need hope,faith anything that can get me through.
At the job I would have taken in this other country I would have ended up as a waitress all my life, tell me what life is that. I would also be miles away from my family.
So I’ve now decided that what ever comes my way is now where I’m supposed to be.

G x

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